He Who Shall Not be Named Goes MIA

Amanda Quinby
4 min readJan 12, 2021

After the events of this past week, having spent time in tears over the imperiled state of our nation, the utterly selfish, mindless, nonsensical actions of right-wing extremist insurrectionists and their ignorant followers, I am taking the time to vent in public. And to try to craft a response to the idiocy that has been the T****p shit show of the last few years. It only deserves a response at all not because they are worth my time but because I love this country. It was founded on the principals of what I always thought to be the brilliant idea of a peaceful revolution every two years. It’s called an election. Those who don’t like the outcome of the previous one get to try again — get to tweak their message so it appeals to a majority, get to reconsider whether their message is worthy of their constituents. Get to show respect for the founders of this incredibly thoughtful institution of American Governance. The problem is that it requires adults who understand the value of the delicately balanced, nuanced precepts that are its foundation. It can’t work if we have whining little twits that pitch a fit every time an election doesn’t go their way, disingenuous politicians that twist the truth for the sake of fleeting power. Power is always fleeting unless it is grounded in a stable institution rather than a grasping few who see its worth only as a means for their own selfish enrichment.

The politicians who have allied themselves with the orange menace have done so, as far as I can tell, because they don’t respect the profoundly precious process of elections that are the bedrock of our nation’s greatness. Those who claim to embrace the maga mantra have, quite handily, done the opposite. What makes America great? Think that through. If sixty court decisions can’t convince you of the integrity of the past election, if the election of Joe Biden is invalid while the election of republican candidates ON THE SAME BALLOT is valid, then you might ask yourself if you are worthy of your claims to patriotism.

If we fail to respect the traditions, the institutions, the laws, the principals that have made us truly great, then we will become a dictatorship. Is Iran great? Russia? North Korea? Are those examples of what we want to become? Before answering, try asking The People of North Korea. Not an option. They aren’t allowed to speak.

As horrific as the events of the past week were, there were moments when I felt I was watching a half-comedic fiction film. You can’t make some of this shit up. The “shaman” in the Chewbacca outfit comes to mind. He’s in jail now and has been granted his request for organic food during his confinement. I can’t imagine how FOX news would spin that if he was a member of BLM. But he’s not and, oh yeah, the attempts to blame antifa and BLM for the insurrections are yet another example of the cowardice that ripples through this movement — all clenched fists and insurrectionist blather until you get caught. If you poke a beehive you can probably expect to get stung. Yeah, I’m looking at you, Josh Hawley.

Then there’s the piano-scarf lady that couldn’t believe she got maced while engaging in the “revolution.” Really? Is it only other people to which bad things happen while trying to overthrow a government? She might want to rethink her commitment to the cause if a little bit of mace is all it takes to inspire her indignation.

Since we’ve moved on to the strangeness of the current truth in which we find ourselves my partner and I have attempted to fully embrace the fiction that seems so true. Feel free to disagree.

Voldemort — M.I.A.
Nagini — Mitch McConnell
Peter Pettigrew — Mike Pence
Lucius Malfoy — Kevin McCarthy
Barty Crouch Jr. — Lindsay Graham
Crab — Josh Hawley
Goyle — Ted Cruz
Gellert Grindewald — William Barr
Draco Malfoy — Jared
Dolores Umbridge — Melania
Bellatrix LeStrange — Ivanka
Fenrir Greyback — Steve Bannon
Quirrell — Susan Collins
Dudley Dursley — Devin Nunes
Griphook — Rudy Giuliani
Aunt Marge — Brett Kavanaugh
Generic Death Eaters — 147 Congressional Republicans

Dumbledore — Joe Biden
Hermione Granger — Kamala Harris
Professor McGonagall — Nancy Pelosi
Kingsley Shacklebolt — Stacey Abrams
Ron Weasley — Cory Booker
Mrs. Weasley — Jill Biden
Mr. Weasley — Chuck Schumer
Neville Longbottom — Tammy Duckworth
Remus Lupin — Andrew Cuomo
Sirius Black — Ilhan Omar
Tonks — Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
Luna Lovegood — Elizabeth Warren
Severus Snape — Mitt Romney
Hagrid — Bernie Sanders

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